I can only write from my pov, that is all I can do.
I had a big deal decision, about a new computer, I was not well and had a friend who has some degree of expertise with computers so I asked for her help and she fucked up.
She picked a low profile system and stuff that wont install in a low profile system. I asked her to do something I should have done myself, I didn't research and check her I just trusted her judgment, and that was wrong of me. I created the situation that allowed her to fuck up something that is a big deal for me and that was my mistake, but she still fucked up.
When the parts got to me I called her thinking there was some solution she planed for and there wasn't. She did say "Sorry! I guess I wasn't thinking of that when I was picking it out!" So I was pissed but I talked myself down over the course of a week and then called her and said "I miss hanging out with you we should do something sometime soon." Trying to just put the whole debacle behind us. I got no response but I figured she was just busy.
I saw her today and for most of the night I just waited to see if she was going to say something like, " I feel really bad about what happened, I'm so sorry, is there anything I can do?" but she didn't and I just decided I didn't need that, would have been great but I didn't need it. So I went to her and said, " Hey you know, no hard feelings about that computer thing, I'm sure I can get it sorted somehow." (and I can for between $85 to $160) and she says to me that she was pissed because I called pretending nothing had happened and that she felt owed an apology from me for *making her* "feel bad".
This was over $1000.00 and represented the last gift my grandmother would ever give me and she played *a part* in screwing it up. Feeling bad in that situation is the correct response, you don't need anyone to MAKE you feel bad it just happens. In stead of telling me how bad she felt about her part in things she decided to BLAME ME for creating the bad feelings.
You know what fine, I will admit that it was irresponsible of me to place her in a position where this could happen, but to be pissed off at me when I had just said I don't carry hard feelings for her part in things... I couldn't handle that. I tried, perhaps poorly, to make her see my side of things. That ended with her throwing a pudding dish, happening to hit me with it, and storming off in tears in a fit.
I can't and wont apologies for "making her feel bad." She messed up, and on something of great importance to someone(me) who I knows she cares, or at least cared, about. Feeling bad is just what happens in that situation and I am appalled she would blame me for somehow guilt tripping her. She is a very important friend to me and I don't want to lose her but I just can't handle her making my crisis about my Grama's final gift to me about how it made *her* feel.
All the same I should have said I was sorry. I created the whole situation that allowed this to happen in the first place and that was my mistake. You don't borrow money from friends and you don't put them in positions where an honest mistake on their part can screw you over. It was wrong of me to do that to her. For that I am truly sorry and sad because while her mistake put a tarnish on my Grama's final gift, my mistake may have ruined one of the most important friendships that I have.
